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Subject: Joketime

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Original Message 1/5 17-Nov-09 @ 02:16 AM - Joketime

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A Texas tourist in India was sitting by himself in a cafe feeling a bit overwhelmed and alone.
Sensing this a young Indian man approached and greeted the Texan, asking if he needed help
with anything. The Texan replied, "I'm by myself here and it's such a huge country with so
many strange things, I don't know what to do." At that the Indian became excited that he could
possibly be of assistance. He said to the Texan, "I drive a cab and know the sites very well. If
you would like I'll show you around!" The Texan was happy to take the young man up on his
offer and off they went.

The first stop was a huge fortress of most impressive architecture with tourists milling around
oohing and ahhing. The Texan said, "Wow! Look at this place. How long did it take to build it?"
His young guide answered proudly, "It took 30 years to build this fortress." Suddenly the Texan
let out a hearty laugh, then said, "30 years? Why back in Texas we'd have this up and running
in 10 years tops!" The young man felt a little culturally insulted by the comment but let it pass.

The second stop was a beautiful temple of intricate design embellished with exotic gardens
and man-made pools and waterfalls. After commenting how extraordinary this place was the
Texan asked, "How long did it take to build it?" His guide again answered, "30 years." and
again the Texan laughed and said, "30 years? Why...back in Texas we'd have this place
finished and polished in 5 years!" His guide was now a bit annoyed but wanting to keep things
polite he again let it go.

So when at the next stop the Texan asked how long it took to make the site the young Indian
was prepared and he answered "I'm told it took only 5 years", to which the Texan once more
bellowed out a laugh followed by, "5 years??? Back in Texas we pump out places like this in
less than a year!" Now the young Indian was pissed but still holding his temper he decided to
take the boasting Texan to the Taj Mahal, a place the Texan would certainly not be able to
insult.

The Texan stood totally awestruck and to his guide, pleasantly silent in front of the Taj Mahal
for a long time, just gazing at it's other-worldly magnificence. Eventually however the inevitable
question came out. "Wow. How long did it take to build this place?" to which the young Indian
answered, "You know....I really can't say. It wasn't here when I passed by yesterday."

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Message 2/5 19-Nov-09 @ 11:50 AM - RE: Joketime

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lol, in britain we have the same joke but the texan goes to visit a huge ranch in australia - the aussie rancher shows off his estate, his ranch-house and his garden, all of which the texan derides as small compared to whatever he has back home in texas

finaly a kangeroo hops past; the texan is like "what the hell is that!?" - the rancher replies

"You dont have grasshoppers back in texas?"

etc

___________________________________

I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!

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Message 3/5 19-Nov-09 @ 12:11 PM - RE: Joketime

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LMAO! that's excellent! there's also the story of Alaska petitioning to become the 49th state. texans
said the only reason they would allow that to happen would be if Alaska was cut in half and then join
the union as two states because they didn't want a state bigger than texas....until someone told them
behind closed doors that if Alaska was split in two there's be two states bigger than texas.

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Message 4/5 19-Nov-09 @ 05:22 PM - RE: Joketime

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here's a brit for you mate