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Subject: New Dog
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Original Message 1/28 22-Jul-10 @ 03:07 AM - New Dog
However Kids just stopped wetting thier beds and now dog wets them instead - nay not just wets them actually shits them.
Thought this was a problem then discovered the cat is too afraid to leave the house when the dog is in, resulting in cat having no option but to shit and piss in the house as well!
wife has been constantly washing bedding for the last four days.
can only hope after my weekend i can refrain from the usual pissed up sleepwalk.
anybody fancy a journey to "Wildings Wonderful World of Piss and Amonia" tickets available £22.50 per person (ring side a little dearer!)
Woof Woof Martyn.
Message 2/28 22-Jul-10 @ 12:55 PM - RE: New Dog
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 3/28 22-Jul-10 @ 01:33 PM - RE: New Dog
The kids are young uns and need to learn a few basic skills - ie shutting doors
The dogs not allowed up stairs but occasionally sneaks off unoticed.
We'll get it sorted pretty soon weve only had him a week, if not over the next few days i'll burn the bedding, the dog, children & wife (no particular order) one per day - that should get some results.
Maybe they could draw straws to spice it up a bit - you know let them feel they are in someway in control of thier own fate.
Message 4/28 22-Jul-10 @ 04:32 PM - RE: New Dog
channel. She goes to people's homes and helps them out with dogs that have behavioral problems.
Not saying you need someone like that. I just mention it because it's fascinating to see her solutions
and how they work and how happy the dogs are afterwards. She says dogs just need the right kind
of communication to be able to figure things out and everyone is happier in the end. Interesting stuff.
Message 5/28 22-Jul-10 @ 06:00 PM - RE: New Dog
"take your f*ckin dog & piss off home!" is the usual phrase
dogs running around jumpin up at people when there's firearms about isnt a very good idea, hence the 'no compromise' attitude.
oh it's all fun in t'country!
Message 6/28 23-Jul-10 @ 01:45 PM - RE: New Dog
Once again the beds are wet but at least its only the flower beds.
Cats still unsure as to what the new regime is and appears to be refusing to pass either solid or liquid and looks somewhat bloated.... i assume when the seal / plug finally gives we are in for one hell of a mess.... !!!
Pets and children ... who'd hav'em ?
Well me for certain, life is destined never to be dull again!
Message 7/28 24-Jul-10 @ 12:05 AM - RE: New Dog
NastyM wrote:
Have started to have some moderate ammount of success -
the dog has started to pee outside following the wifes latest training methods (by example),
unfortunately now the two boys think its fine to urinate over the Rosemary bushes.
Once again
the beds are wet but at least its only the flower beds.
Cats still unsure as to what the new regime
is and appears to be refusing to pass either solid or liquid and looks somewhat bloated.... i assume
when the seal / plug finally gives we are in for one hell of a mess.... !!!
Pets and children ...
whod havem ?
Well me for certain, life is destined never to be dull again!src=images/hammer.gif>
LOL!
Message 8/28 24-Jul-10 @ 02:09 PM - RE: New Dog
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 9/28 27-Jul-10 @ 08:02 AM - RE: New Dog
Message 10/28 27-Jul-10 @ 01:07 PM - RE: New Dog
I'm sure the bleedin' dog is laughing at me.
at least my cat doesn't actively take the piss out of me.
Another thing when i planned the kitchen i built an island unit smack bang in the centre resulting in comic book results - me chasing the dog round a 3' high obstacle with no chance of catching the little fucker due to its near light speed reactions.
it could only be made more comical if i could slip on a banana skin bang my head only to wake up with the dog licking my face - as a precaution i have removed all bananas from the kitchen.
Message 11/28 27-Jul-10 @ 02:52 PM - RE: New Dog
You guys make it sound like pets are like kids permanently locked and loaded in the terrible twos.
Message 12/28 27-Jul-10 @ 07:19 PM - RE: New Dog
Message 13/28 27-Jul-10 @ 10:48 PM - RE: New Dog
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 15/28 28-Jul-10 @ 09:26 AM - RE: New Dog
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 16/28 28-Jul-10 @ 11:31 PM - RE: New Dog
k wrote:
omg that looks like something from a Stephen King film!!, lol src=images/hide.gif>
I agree. lol!
Message 17/28 29-Jul-10 @ 12:56 AM - RE: New Dog
[image file]
looks like i've won the "whos gat a gay dog comp."
but then again i'm cool with that.
Message 19/28 31-Jul-10 @ 11:28 PM - RE: New Dog
NastyM wrote:
looks like ive won the whos gat a gay dog comp.
but then again im cool with that.
omg!! your dog is like PROPER gay !!
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 20/28 01-Aug-10 @ 07:52 PM - RE: New Dog
On a side note, he actually works wonders for meeting women though Its amazing how many women think hes "ever so cute / adorable"........
.........that is until he pisses on your FECKIN duvet!!!
Message 21/28 01-Aug-10 @ 07:59 PM - RE: New Dog
the dogs look great i've got a little lad who'd absolutely love them - then again we all know puppys aren't adorable forever and do there best to impersonate beavers - chewing through all in sight.
Then again they've got the best defence ever - being puppys.
You'd really struggle to drown a puppy in a sack - now then kittens thats a different matter!
Message 23/28 11-Aug-10 @ 01:04 AM - RE: New Dog
Message 24/28 11-Aug-10 @ 01:24 AM - RE: New Dog
etc. that'd be cool!
___________________________________
I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!
Message 25/28 11-Aug-10 @ 02:29 AM - RE: New Dog
Message 26/28 11-Aug-10 @ 04:27 PM - RE: New Dog
k wrote:
aha! so whats its name? did u get one yet? ive always thought itd be fun to have a small yappy dog but call it SATAN!! then when out walking with it you can say come on satan!
etc. thatd be cool!
I always wanted a dog called "Syndrome" for the obvious ...... un-pc reason.
A close second was my first bosses name "Malcolm" but that may have lead to me resenting the dog and beating it.
As it happened the dog came complete with the name "Snoop"
when out walking the dog i sound like bloody Alan Carr or the like when i have to shout him.
I now refer to the hound as "Snoop Alexander Mycock" or Alex Mycock for short as that is basically all he seems to do.
Message 27/28 14-Aug-10 @ 11:04 PM Edit: 16-Aug-10 | 02:28 AM - RE: New Dog
today's words of wisdom:
web addresses are like women. urls just want to have fun.
Message 28/28 16-Aug-10 @ 02:29 AM - RE: New Dog
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